|How I Felt On Friday Leaving for the LAST Time
I’d like to assume that I’m a fairly intelligent woman. As I’ve stated previously, school has always come fairly easily to me. Going with my instincts however, has proven to be a much more precarious task. Perhaps if I’d followed my gut initially, I would have never found myself in such a pickle. But alas, everything happens for a reason…. or at least that’s what they tell me.
In early January, I found myself sitting in the longest interview of my life discussing a position that made drying paint look enthralling. As I nodded and told the woman in HR that I’d be interested in the position I realized I was lying to myself and to her. I talked it over with my family and my friends and I pacified my anxieties over the position by saying things like, “You’re bills will be covered” (barely) and “It’s a means to an end, a stepping stone if you will.” Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was selling myself short, that in the end I would be wildly unhappy with the position. But because I am an adult (or something like an adult), I decided to do the grown up thing and accept the position a month before getting my Master’s degree.
If you read my post Working 9 to 5 Just to Stay Alive ,then you know how I felt about this job. There is NOTHING more draining than sitting at a desk all day transferring phone calls for 9 hours. (Yes I said nine hours; this is not a typical “work” day people you’re either on a shift from 8-6 or from 10-8 with an hr for lunch). It’s especially difficult for someone who is use to being creative, working on projects or having multiple things to do at once. It has been one of the most draining experiences of my life.
I suppose I’ve always been rather naïve about the entertainment industry. I’ve dabbled of course but this was my first true experience. It will not be happy memory. There is very little that grinds my gears more, than people far less competent than I treating me like I’m stupid. Understand that I CANNOT and I WON’T. I have a very low tolerance for these “types” of people and by day three at my former place of employment I had reached my threshold.
Just like a man (or woman (whatever floats your boat) that you’re getting to know, you can pretty much spot any initial red flags pretty early on and it becomes up to you whether or not you would like to proceed.
Red Flag # 1: I was told on day one that, while at the company anything that you write/ create become the company’s property. GIRL BYE. Not this girl’s material.
Red Flag # 2: 95% of the Black males in the company are in the mail room. I really can’t explain to you the level of irritation that I felt. These are highly intelligent and highly educated guys. WTF?!
Red Flag # 3: Being treated like a fetch girl. Ain’t nobody Patsey in here! Hang up your own coat. Clean the F up after yourself! And no I’m not a garbage disposal do not HAND me your trash unless I offer to take it.
Red Flag # 4 : The place reeks of white privilege and micro aggression and quite frankly I just don’t have time.
Red Flag #4.5: We got the newsletter about Black History Month February 21st
|FEBRUARY FU*KIN 21ST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They didn’t even PRETEND to care! Why even put one out at all ?!!
Red Flag #5: A certain piece of Canadian trash decided to place the office phone number on his twitter contact info. Therefore we were perpetually fielding class from tweens who wanted to speak to said douche bag. (Really no one deserves such a fate.)
The Saturday after my second week of employment, I was standing in a Starbucks waiting for my friend to meet me for a movie. As I stood there, I just kept thinking how miserable I had been all week. How I’d reverted back to my awful habit of eating my feelings and not to mention my attitude was quickly teetering on the line of Angry Black Woman. As I stood there sipping my non-fat dirty chai I asked myself WHY? Why are you doing something that you absolutely DESPISE for 50 hours a week? I hate to say it but I am. I’m better then this. This deserves none of my attention, my anger or my thoughts. I wouldn’t put up with just any man, why and the hell would I put up with just any ole job?!
I’ve made mistakes in my twenty- three years of life, but to be honest I’ve pretty much done things by the book. Now is the time for adventure, for discovery and for exploration. This is not the time to bury my misery in chocolate ice cream and Chipotle burritos. When I talked to people about my job many were like, “Oh, is it really that bad?” Well the position is constantly available so why don’t you apply and find out?” I would give anything to take away that unpleasant memory of crying to my baby sister the day I got my Masters…for what?! Over a job?! A job that after taxes barely paid over minimum wage.
I realize that this probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done in light of the financial climate and maybe even career wise but that’s the point of being young right? You can start over.
If this miraculous plan of mine doesn’t work out (more details to come) well…. “Kanye Shrug”. At least I’m no longer in hell.
xoxox Chocolate Girl In the City xoxoxoxox
PS: My Current Situation
|Warmth, Happiness & 80 Degrees