SHit Happens

October 29, 2012

Nappy & Happy

October 29, 2012

Obligatory Hurricane Post (Stream of Consciousness)

October 29, 2012
Shit Happens
Nappy Headed Gal
Hurricane Sandy

I’ve decided to write an obligatory hurricane post because I’m stuck in my apartment alone. On the bright side, I have delicious snacks, Breaking Bad, a Kindle and a little friend to keep me company.

So what’s been up with me these last few weeks. Nothing too dramatic for once. My coworker told me last week that I’m the Black Bridget Jones which is sadly accurate.  Let’s do a review of my weekend shall we.

Apparently this is me, only chocolate dipped.

I’ve been feeling pathetically homesick lately. I think I get this way when the holidays begin to creep up on me. I’m nostalgic and I miss the CHi, also these NYC ninjas do nothing for me so no distraction there. On Friday I have a tragic four hour class beginning at 9am. Its literally the most foolish class I’ve ever had. I spend half of my time trying not to scream at my professor for calling me “Aramedee” BITCH THAT”S NOT MY NAME!!! I’ve clearly corrected her 75 times and yet she refuses to pronounce it properly. Alas my only entertainment is to look at the facial expressions of my Chinese classmates. My professor is one of those irrational sorts who talks in circles about Foucault and other fancy white men that I suppose I should care to know. Its rough enough for the native English speakers but for the international students it has to be torture. My poor classmate always looks horrified and confused. I’ve given up on the class in general so when I’m about to nod off I just look at her face for a nice pick-me-up.

Once we got let out at one, I literally raced from campus like my ass was on fire. I live for weekends and I refuse to consider school until Sunday nights.  I took myself all the way downtown to get a fresh bag of Garrett’s popcorn. (Yes, they have one here in NYC.) And of course these New Yorkers don’t know shit so the store is  always half empty. I got my popcorn (the mix with more caramel than cheese), grabbed a bottle of wine and hauled my ass back to Harlem  I proceeded to stuff my face, catch up on SCANDAL, and then took a epic nap.

They’re both gone already

Somehow I was convinced to go out that night (well it was mostly the allure of the coconut sangria that the venue is known for). It was one of my classmates birthdays and we went dancing. (Usually I spend Friday nights in my underwear watching mindless television, the week is so exhausting that I usually can’t be bothered to try and get myself together until Saturday)

Me  Friday afternoons and evenings

So this is gonna sound ignorant and I know down to the depths of my little Black heart that it does but wtf I’mma just say it. I think African men can just smell that my ass is African or somethin. Now if you know me ,you know that I avoid African men like I avoid  my old ass neighbor Lonnie who keeps asking me out to dinner (the man is 65 years old and he wears Spike Lee jogging suits). Anyway as soon as I have a drink in my hand and my hips are swaying this tiny African is on my ass. I’m sorry but I just can’t….like WHY???!!!!  Go AWAY!!! I twirled around with him for a tad and then told him I was there with my girls, then of course he had to be an awkward lurker for another damn hour. Also  why are grown men till standing around the dance floor staring at women?? I know I’ve discussed this before. (Whatever i don’t pretend to understand the male species, except for my gays of course). I  stayed for awhile got fairly nice and then hauled myself home.

Um so I know this is a shocker to everyone who knows me but I have acquired a gym membership (it’s only $10/month, smh I still have to buy shoes)  and I run 3 miles 3-4 times a week. (I know I’m shocked too). I actually enjoy it ….ALOT. Tis is all to say that Saturday morning I got up and went to le gym. Now this is what I don’t understand…. um… why do dudes try to talk to you in the gym or oggle your behind whilst you’re running. Yes, I realize that I have on spandex and luckily my pigmentation does not allow me to turn a tragic red color. However, I get rather sweaty and it ain’t cute.  I’m sure I’m not smelling too fresh and its quite awkward when its quite possible that I  have a sweat stain round my bottom. I’ve started wearing my longer t-shirts so that i can run and stretch with some semblance of modesty.  Going to the gym on the reg has been quite a feat for me. Especially because, few weeks ago I fell off the treadmill while adjusting my ipod, no one helped me and I have big scar on my foot…I still got my three miles in tho.

After the gym I went to the grocery store in preparation for the demise of NYC due to Sandy. Usually I’m bougie and I trek to Trader Joe’s but I had already been to the gym and that was quite enough for the day so I settled for my neighborhood store… Mistake? Yes it was. Mind you I never sleep past 10am (this real person ish is for the birds) so I was done with the gym and at the grocery store before noon. Luckily there was still some chicken left upon my arrival but I stood in the checkout line for damn near 25 minutes. I thought that my frozen yogurt was gonna melt and I was getting quite pressed. My only solace was seeing how pissed people were getting about having to wait so long… honestly its not that serious I just didn’t want my Half Baked to melt.

After I finally made it home tugging my granny cart full of groceries behind me I chillaxed until it was time to head to me bestie’s for his Halloween shindig, As usually I was the only Negro in sight. Luckily there were some sprinkles of Indians and Asians for additional flare. The music was good (bestie likes only Black music) and the drinks were flowing so it turned out to be a good night, I also may have eaten like 3 cupcakes from Georgetown but I just closed my eyes and pretended that I hadn’t.

I was suppose to be a Bollywood dancer. I just really enjoyed my makeup

One small thing was puzzling to me during the eve. I became chums with a boy and we hugged in one of our intoxicated moments. I honestly think he’d never hugged a woman who weighed more than 130 pounds because clearly it became the highlight of his life. At the end of the night he hugged me again for an awkward amount of time and told me I was an exceptional hugger (?) I’m quite perplexed. What can I say though I do have  some nice cushion and I smell quite nice. Still…..

Anyways I spent yesterday recovering and checking my phone to see if school and work would be closed. Mercifully they were because I made no effort to actually do any homework. (Sad….)  The city has completely shut down, its very strange because NYC for once is silent. But this heifer Sandy hasn’t even really showed up from what I can tell. Its windy but its not even really raining so perhaps it won’t be a big deal after all (Just like Irene from Summer 2011)
Anyways that’s been my life lately, a lot more tame than normal. I’mma turn up this new Kendrick Lamar and and cook some lunch.

xoxoxoxxo Chocolate Girl in the City xoxoxoxox

PS. I guess I should at least attempt this homework
PPS. Never mind shit is closed tomorrow as well 🙂