March 14, 2014

How Did I Get Here? On Being Melancholy

March 14, 2014

Perhaps, Just Maybe, You Are Doing Too Much

March 14, 2014
I Quit
cold world
Doing Too Much

These days people use the word “thirsty” to describe someone who is coated in desperation. This parched individual will go to great lengths for recognition. They spend a great deal of time plotting and scheming in an attempt to capture the prized panties or drawers. Now normally I don’t condone using the term thirsty. I personally live for a reliable man. (For example, there is something about Jake from Scandal that does it for me. Perhaps it’s because he actually killed someone for Liv, meanwhile all Fitz does is whine, cry and stay married -_-) Anyways, though you may have the best intentions in the world, your actions are quite possibly thirsty, if you are throwing all of your attention on to someone who does not welcome it.

I was thinking about this because of a incident that occurred some Saturdays ago. I’d risen early to go to the Post Office, visiting USPS is like descending into the eighth circle of hell, I should have known no good would come of it. As I headed back to my building shades on, earphones in, Starbucks in hand I heard someone say “HEY THERE!”. Now the sunglasses and headphones typically serve as foolish negro repellent. However, due to my traumatic experience at the post office I was off my game. Befuddled I looked up at a buttery yellow smile. My senses were assaulted by the smell of stale cigarettes and moonshine. The fool then proceeded to ask if I was was walking far. I mumbled that I was, and he then rudely took it upon himself to gesture like he would be escorting me. I promptly informed him that I was not interested and began to briskly walk away. To my utter horror the clown bellowed “Are you running away from me?!”
You know that moment when your gut tells you to be on HIGH ALERT. Well that moment happened for me just then. There was something really off about the brother (more off than the fact that his teeth were the color of big bird). I sprinted into the nearest deli and hid behind the shelves. I’d passed up my apartment building  because obviously I didn’t want this psycho to know where I lived. After several minutes of hiding behind a large gentleman and calming myself with a Diet Peach Snapple I cautiously made my way home.
As I’m sure you can tell  this man was doing WAAY to much. (Also I’m convinced that he was a serial killer). He was disgusting and overly enthusiastic.
This foolery got me to thinking about how we act in our dating lives. It’s very simple really,  if someone is interested in you I’m quite certain that you will have some indication. If they aren’t interested you will also know. People have the same 24 hours in the day that you do. If they are interested they will make time, they generally won’t run in horror in the other direction, they won’t ignore you or treat you poorly. There is no reason to continue to force yourself into their lives when you are so obviously unwanted.
Case in point, a couple of months ago I went out with a guy (ONE TIME). It was a lackluster experience, as many first dates are. He then proceeded to blow me up, acting like we would be married by the summer time. Sir, I don’t know you, there is no reason why we need to speak at length every day. He even had the nerve to comment on how expensive dating is. (While I agree, no one told you to date if you can’t afford it.) Obviously I thought he was creepy and ridiculous and I finally had to hit him with the “you’re a nice guy but…” text.
Desperation is a sickness.  People that want to use you can smell in from miles away. Others who want nothing from you, will look at you in disgust and plot the most swift and safe exit. Once again I live for consistency and reliability but ONLY if the interest is mutual. If you are asking a woman who you just met why you are the only one initiating contact (which you do EVERY SINGLE DAY. Listen anyone can send a generic ass Good Morning text I’m unimpressed),perhaps,  just maybe you are doing too much.
xoxoxo Chocolate Girl in the City xoxoxo