Entitlement (Or In Other Words How to Embarrass Yourself In the Nail Shop)

June 20, 2014

Thoughts While Waiting on the Train Platform: On Anxiety

June 20, 2014

Waiting On My Life to Begin?

June 20, 2014
entitlement
anxiety
waiting
Last Sunday, Prospect Park Dreamin’

I remember in high school I always believed that my “real” life would begin in college. I arrived at my university with bright dreams and grandiose assumptions and once I realized it wasn’t all that I thought it would be I figured that my life would begin after college, once I found my footing in the real world. I delayed my entrance into the “real world” by attending graduate school (school was my hustle, I could be in school forever). My first forte into total adulthood was short-lived. I said yes to the first position that was offered to me and then quit it shortly thereafter. (You can read HERE to find out why.) It was after this fairly monumental decision that I realized all assumptions were incorrect. There I was quickly approaching my mid-twenties and still I was funemployed, waiting to begin my life. I normally think I’m more self-aware then this but clearly I was being asshole. A little over a month ago about I decided to start living my life. No I didn’t have full time employment but I’m was doing OK freelancing. There’s a few huge projects that I’m working on and just because I wasn’t receiving a biweekly paycheck I had lots to be proud of. I started focusing on all that I had accomplished despite the obstacles thrown at me.

So I started saying YES to myself which was my resolution for 2014. (You can read that post HERE.) I had already put my mental health and personal well-being high up in my priorities by quitting my job and focusing on my talents and other real goals. Now all I had to do was do that in my social life.

It’s so easy to say NO. Saying no means u can stay in your comfort zone. (For me that means in my apartment with my Kindle.) But imagine all of the incredible opportunities that would come your way by saying yes. Saying yes, has changed my outlook and my perspective. Am I ever gonna be the one that enjoys getting plastered and bar hopping until 4 in the morn? Probably not, I’m an old soul and I enjoy sleep way to much. But I also recognize some of the best days of my life have ended with the sun coming up.

So what have I gotten out of saying yes? I’ve gotten my life 🙂 Just in this past month and a half or so I’ve gotten more opportunities then I’ve ever remember getting. My summer is going to be full of concerts and shows, traveling, brunches, park days, friends, family and so much more. This is all happening because I decided that this, RIGHT NOW is my LIFE. My real life, this is it. So for me there will be no more waiting around, no more hiding. I’m just gonna embrace things as they come. As much as I want to curl into myself and get lost in a book I certainly can’t sit back and act like that’s the best or even the healthiest thing do.

No I haven’t achieved everything that I want to do at this point I haven’t traveled abroad, read the Game of Thrones series ,or even had epic love but I’m certainly gonna relax a bit and embrace all the things I have done and say yes to every wonderful thing that I’ve achieved myself.

I read somewhere that the biggest disservice that this generation (my generation) is doing to itself is thinking that we have to have it all together in our twenties. We already put a crap load of pressure on ourselves and it becomes even more stifling when you have your parents and family hovering around your neck whilst you look at your friends and peers achieve greatness. But your know what? Your fan-fuckintastic. This is your life to live! U have to do things and make choices that are going to fulfill U and make you happy in the long run.

Start living because even if you didn’t realize it, your “real” life has long since begun.

xoxoxo Chocolate Girl in the City xoxoxoxox

  • I loved this….. YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

  • Yes girl!!! For real, I wish I was there, free concerts, adventures, shows etc. is what I live for lol. But very inspiring, loving your blog!