Flip Flops Are Not Shoes and Other Things That I Believe With All My Heart

June 30, 2011

So Now All Black Women Are Angry?

June 30, 2011

Why I’m Possibly One Of The Most Dramatic People You WIll Ever Meet

June 30, 2011
My Mom's Is Better
Angry Black Woman
I May Be Dramatic

I pondered this blog topic as I raced to my bestie’s house on Sunday evening so that I wouldn’t miss Chris Brown’s performance at the BET awards. To my sheer disdain when I arrived I had missed Breezy,  and the insufferable Alicia Keys was singing off key as she stood on top of her piano. My disgust for Ms. Keys does not actually stem from her music; Songs in A Minor and Diary were classics. It has to do with the whole Swizz Beats/ Moshanda drama. Now I will admit that everything the public hears about celebrity situations are hearsay, but for some reason whether its true or not, Alicia stooping to the level of potential homewrecker disgusted me to no end and I turn the channel whenever her music is played.  (Yet I’m now probably more obsessed with Chris Brown then I was before the incident.)

Things Fall Apart: I don’t deal with stress or being overwhelmed in the best way. Instead of dealing with my issues I can usually be found hibernating in my room watching endless hours of Elliot Stabler on SVU, or Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte on Sex and the City. For example, the night of the BET awards I arrived home to my abode around 2am. After stumbling up to my room I realized that the ceiling in the room next to mine had collapsed and what stood before me was vast amount of itchy roofing material. My mind literally could not conceive what was happening, so instead I froze and simply stood there in horror for about ten minutes before my mind was able to tell my body to move.

Me & Crackberry: Living without my Blackberry is like being sucked into a black hole of death :(. A few weeks after I returned home from NYC to the Chi, I dropped my Blackberry in a puddle. It worked fine for about an hour and then it died. It was a devastating loss, and I had to wait 24hrs to get another one (for free :)). This new phone that AT&T gave me constantly freezes  and causes me to seriously consider chucking it across the room about one million times a day. I know its just a phone but, if I pay for it why should I have to go without it for even a second. Dramatic I know.

Looking Flyy: I already discussed in previous blogs that I like to go to regular ass places getting my Carrie Bradshaw on. Because of this bougie little habit, when I have to go out looking regular as hell, I’m usually offended when people want to talk to me.  Example: Today I had to stop at the grocery store to get my Daddy some milk on my way home from work. Mind you, I had on my horrid park district shirt (no its not yellow), some shorts and some converse (my sole pair of gym shoes). I had been outside playing with children all day so you can infer how I was looking. I parked my car and attempted to run into the store as quickly as possible with my shades still on.  Instead I was interrupted from my undercover operation by “Wassup Black, That’s A Nice Skin Tone You Have. Let Me Give You My Card”. I’m sorry when was any of this ever acceptable and when did women start calling men???!!!! But alas that’s neither here nor there but men will approach you when you look as busted as possible. As you have probably assumed he got my signature side eye from under my shades as I rushed in the store before anyone on 71st street could recognize me. (Dramatic I know, luckily I wasn’t hungry because he would’ve really been insulted.)

The  2001 Mercury Sable: I’ve previously discussed my hatred of driving and since I was nearly killed on Tuesday morning by a #14 Jeffery Express bus, I shall go into no further detail.

Le Cinema: I must be on time for movies. I am not one of those Black people that can just wonder up to the show and catch whatever movie is playing around the time I arrive. I CAN’T STAND THAT. As a cinema studies student, half of the fun of going to movies for me is seeing the previews. This is dramatic I realize but, if I miss the previews I’m going to have a tude.

Weave Snobbery: Just another one of my bougie little habits, my love for weave  has spawned a love for virgin tresses (whether is Indian, Brazilian, whatever.) This means that I rarely buy hair from the beauty supply store. Standing in line once at the infamous Wigs Plus on 71st, a lady asked me where I’d gotten my hair from and how much I spent. When I told her she looked horrified and applaud, she even ridiculed me for spending so much. I politely smiled and nodded but I deeply wanted to say you can put that $10 pack of 14inch in your hair if you want to. Just don’t be mad when you’re real hair falls out underneath cuz you got a scalp infection from itching up a storm. I didn’t say such a thing of course because that would have been rude.

I LOVE Black Movies (And TV): I Love them, I will say Tyler Perry is questionable at times but I’ll still watch them (perhaps just on Netflix) and I’m always offended by anyone who thinks that they are unnecessary or stereotypical all the time. Just because you haven’t heard  of something or don;t understand a reference. does not mean it does not exisit. I’ve had many a dramatic argument over this.

xoxoxox Chocolate Girl In the City