So Now All Black Women Are Angry?

July 11, 2011

Things I’ve Learned Since Turning 21

July 11, 2011

You Change and You Grow, But We Were Young And We Didn’t Know. (Why Being Single Is Ok and Sometimes Necessary)

July 11, 2011
Angry Black Woman
21st Bday
Love Jones

My bestie JanellofALife and I have this reoccurring conversation on occasion about the single life and what it means to be in meaningful relationships. I’m going to say meaningful because, most of the time in your 20’s you’re just discovering who you are, and the people that you date during that time help define who you are. (I’m not saying that you can’t find “the one” at this age, because I know a couple of happy married couples that are my age, but really what is the rush?) When I was sixteen I met a boy, and that boy changed everything for me. Looking back now it was only eight months out of my life, but through that intense and very blinding haze  I loved him and he loved me back). It ended as quickly as it began. just like most teenage love affairs but, my world will be forever shifted by that my first real relationship. Now I’ve had one other relationship since then, that to be honest is not worth mentioning and I’ve dated a couple of guys in between. But the majority of the last five years I’ve spent being single and I think because of that, I feel like I’ve gotten to know exactly who I am without anyone clouding my judgement. I have always been a firm believer in taking some time to be alone after the end of any relationship. I think its important to heal and evaluate what occurred in that relationship. I also think this time alone, prevents you from jumping back into something intense with the any fool that smiles your way.  I’m not going to sit here and pretend that being single  is all fun and games, of course it gets lonely and even dull. But embracing it can be very exciting. You can “do you” as they say without worrying what your partner might think. I thinking dating different types of people without a serious commitment is also very important. Honestly, I feel that society is trying to panic everyone into finding the perfect mate, but, you twenties should really be all about you, your career, education, travel etc. The majority of people I know my age in a serious relationship are continually going through some drama that makes my head hurt to just think about it,. Whatever happened to just having fun? Whatever happened to getting to know someone? The thing I realized and that my mama was always trying to tell me is that though relationships are work, no one should be making you feel bad and you should be happy or at the very least content 98% of the time. If  you’re not happy really what are you doing? The point is I guess that at this age we’re still growing and changing, you damn well better be sure that you’re with someone who has the same ambition as you. Someone who can grow and change with you. I’m sorry for this sappy ass blog post, I’ve clearly been watching too much One Tree Hill and listening to too much Adele but, I think that if eventually (like in your late twenties and thirties) you want to end up with this amazing person then embrace your life right now do what makes you happy whether its with someone who can go on that journey with you or if you’re attempting to navigate through your life by yourself. Nobody can fix you, you have to fix yourself.  It’s 2011, we having a pretty decent life expectancy so why rush?

My Top Priorities For the Next Five Years

1. Graduate NYU
2. Grad School
3. My Own Apartment/Condo
4. Job I Love
5. Go to Paris
6. Louboutins